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September 25, 2014

Parenting as a Team

{Our first family picture}

Parenting as a team can be difficult at times.
I can only speak on my experience with parenting an infant, and only for the past 5 months.
It may not seem like a long enough time to get a good grip on what life is like with a child… And it may not be.
But, it is enough time to recognize the difference between being a family of 2 to a family of 3.

Having a kid is kind of like putting a vacuum in your life.
Anything that isn’t fixed in place is sucked into oblivion.
A cute, giggly, lovable, little oblivion.
Or a pooping, spitting up, crying, little oblivion… depending on how you look at it.
It’s easy to let other things go to the wayside.

It’s has been entirely too easy to lose myself in the care of my child.
I am not lying when I tell you that my cup never seems to be full enough of my little boy.
He could have had the worst night; cluster feeding, gassy belly, and heavy wetting, with hair pulling included and I will sit with him for hours.
I want to.

I have to purposefully set aside time for myself, my faith, and my marriage.
Time for myself and my faith are a constant work in progress.
A bible study and performing is how I am sure to not lose my identity in being ‘Jaxon’s Mommy’.
Because I could, so easily.
I am able to be independent and interact with adults.
It challenges me and I can enter it rather haphazardly, knowing that it’s a chance to grow.

It’s my relationship with my husband that takes kid gloves and special consideration.
With all the changes that happen so fast when you have a baby, it is SO easy to let your relationship with your partner fall to the wayside.  As  moms, it is nature for us to care for our children. To put their needs above ours until they are able to do things for themselves. Add daddy helping out as best he can, and you have two very busy individuals.

For us, it took about 4 months to get to a point where we could relax on a date. Because it was especially important for Jake to have that time, we went to see a movie of his choice.
It was really nice and we agreed that we needed to take the time to reconnect and fall in love all over again with the new us.
It was also a good opportunity to connect and find agreements when it comes to Jaxon.

Being united in our parenting is very important, even more so possibly, because we are living with Jake’s parents, which adds an extra layer of learning and communication.
Learning together and finding time to take care of each other, as well as our little boy is important.

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