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March 10, 2014

Dear Erin Pre-Pregnancy,

This post is completely about me looking at myself in retrospect.
It's completely true, the whole saying about hindsight.

If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have told you all of the benefits of natural childbirth and, basically, how i didn't approve of meds during labor.
Shoot, I posted about it and caused a heck of a lot of discourse in my family.
I was completely naive and closed minded.

This post is for myself as much as other individuals who have never carried a child inside of them.

Never judge anyone when it comes to labor.
You are not them.
They are not you.
You have no idea what their pregnancy has been like.
You have no idea what labor feels like.
No one has the same experience.
You can't generalize and clump pregnant people together.
As long as mom and baby are healthy and happy, it is no ones business to judge what happens in a labor and delivery room.

When did it start to matter how the baby came out, anyway?
Why are individuals claiming that methods that they may have never experienced are less than?
Why are mom's feeling guilty for how they delivered their child?
Labor shaming.
That's what I'm going to call it.
Women and institutions are so quick to shoot down a practice that is different from their own.
We should be uniting as women and mothers, rather than letting something like that claw us apart.


Dear Pregnant Mom-to-be,
Do what is best for you.
Don't feel obligated to deliver your baby in any certain fashion because of what others say.
c-section
Epidural
Natural
Pitocin
Ballooning
Epesiodmy
Natural tear
Whatever your choices, feel secure in them and in the fact that you are going to choose what is best for YOU.

I'd also give you the advice that other moms have given me.
Go with the flow.
Yes, voice preferences, but don't pin your hopes and dreams on those choices.
Be prepared to have them change...
Flexibility is key.

I can also tell you that as a child of a post-natal nurse, who worked in labor and delivery for many years, birth plans are not the favorite most awesome thing for the hospital staff to deal with.
They go by them if they are given, but it can cause a hindrance in your care.
It also causes friction between staff and family when having to deviate from the birth plan for the best of the situation.
Changes to birth plans upset the family.
Not being able to adjust to the situation can frustrate the staff.

My solution is to go in with an open mind.
If I am able to go natural, then I'd like to.
If that doesn't happen. If I'm too tired to push effectively. If the pain is too much to bear and I'm just upsetting myself, I'll get an epidural.
If Little Man is in any kind of danger, we're cutting me open.

I'll  make my preferences known on the smaller things, the eye petroleum, immediate skin-to-skin and attempt to breast feed, family doing the first bath.
Those kind of things.

I figure the less uptight I am about my labor experience the more relaxed I can be.
The more relaxed I am, the better the experience.

1 comment:

Kacie said...

It really is so easy to have an opinion on something until you've experienced it, but not everyone can look back and admit they've changed their mind. Very cool.

I feel like "go with the flow" has been the theme of your pregnancy, from a blog reader's perspective at least. It's been really nice getting to see someone with such a calm center throughout her pregnancy. I hope that attitude helps make your labor as easy as it could be!