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December 4, 2013

What do I Want?

It’s so hard to talk about what I want, as a woman and future mother, for my life.
I almost feel hesitant to share my feelings because of all the backlash that comes from the judgmental mentality that women have.
It’s a harsh generalization, I know, but it’s fairly accurate.
Let me know if a certain stereotype comes to mind when you hear the term ‘Stay at home mom’ or ‘housewife’…
What about ‘working mom’ or ‘career minded woman’.
You can’t deny it.
You can find the argument and division everyplace you look.
There is pride to be found in each life choice.

If money were not an issue and it was only about what I wanted I would be staying home with Little Man once he is here.
I’d go back for the time that is necessary to ensure that my maternity benefits went through…
But I’d be at home after that.
 
I’m not so sure that it is even something that can be discussed.
 
A far cry from when I wasn’t pregnant and just talking about how things would be.
Now that I am bonding with the little guy I’m wanting to be sure that I never feel as if I have missed out.
 
It’s scary.
Thinking of someone else raising my child 9-10 hours a day.
Having someone else witness the first that I should have been there for.
Someone else kissing boo-boos.
 
We don’t have a plan yet.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t procrastinating.
I just keep hoping that Jake will offer the SAHM option to me.
 
It’s not likely to happen.
I think the best I’ll be able to do is possibly going below 100% in hours at work and coming in later or going home earlier.
It’s something.
And something is better than nothing.


3 comments:

Darby Hawley said...

This is a toughy, but I'm glad that you're taking the time to weigh your options & what is best for you. Who cares what others think!

Kacie said...

You're so right about people judging either path. The dad's mother of the family I worked for last year had a problem with the mom working, and also had a problem with her other daughter-in-law NOT working. Talk about hard to please, right?

As far as having someone else watching your little guy, I can talk more with you on that later if you want. I definitely kiss some boo boos, and see some development but the babies still prefer their parents and their parents are the ones updating me.

Kate @ Daffodils said...

I have such a respect for working moms! For us, me staying home was the best option and although the first few months of budgeting were tough, we eventually got used to it and now, 3 boys later, we are happy to sacrifice the money for the time I get them at home. I know every family is different and I hope you are able to find a scenario that is the best of both worlds!