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October 23, 2013

Bed Hog

I have three bed hogs.
Jake, Asher and Ezekiel.
They are all lucky I’m a modified sleeper.
I adapt to any situation.
 
A few days ago I woke up to a dog face in my armpit.
Not long before that Asher, Jake and I made a beautifully proportioned ‘H’.
 
Zeke likes to force me down the bed by sleeping on my pillows, all because I sometimes sleep with my hands above my head.
I think that he sits there, hoping that my hands will spontaneously give him scritch-scratches in the middle of the night.
 
Jake.
Jake is my most beloved bed hog ever.
He does it so sneakily.
Rolling his furnace of a self over, and sleepy old me thinking that he wants to sleep all cuddly like.
It’s his master move.
His check mate.
In all reality, he just like sleeping in the middle of the bed with his head sunk between our pillows.
I end up on my side, with just enough room to not know how close to the edge of the bed I am.
 
It’s a joyous experience, sleeping in my house.
People might wonder why I don’t really want a co-sleep bassinette that edges up with the bed.
 
I can imagine it now.
 
Me, resting peacefully.
Baby rolled on its side close to the edge of the bassinette, with it’s cute hand curled by its chin.
Suddenly, that cute little hand stretches.
And stretches.
And stretches.
Reaching out to touch the pillow by my face.
Startled by the feeling of little fingers touching my face I jump.
Jake jerks awake at my sudden movement.
Baby is startled awake.
Asher jumps to race out from under the covers.
Zeke sighs contentedly.
His plans to make my life miserable are nearly complete.

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