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June 26, 2013

Maybe I Shouldn't Wear That...

Have you ever come to a moment that completely changed the way that you looked at your closet or the clothing choices that you make?

A few months after Jake and I got married, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about the trending fashions of that summer. While we were talking, her husband walked up and listened to us complain about the short-short trend.

He commented on a mutual friend of ours and how he was a little uncomfortable having a casual conversation with her because of her choice to wear clothing that was a little more revealing. Whenever he did talk to her he was constantly aware of where his eyes were, how he was standing and how close he was to her.
It caught me off guard!

As a newlywed, this wasn't something I had ever thought of.
Was it possible that my personal clothing choices made other people uncomfortable?! 

After that, I looked at my wardrobe with different eyes. I realized that the things that I had worn in high school and college, in my opinion, were not appropriate to wear, as a happily married woman. Since then, I have been slowly, but surly, weeding out the items of clothing that I associate with the 'single mentality'.
I'll spare your eyeballs from the slideshow of pictures from 'Erin's Clothing Choices, Before Marriage'

My rules;
Cleavage covering cami's under all v-neck or button ups.
Shorts must be below the 'cheek line', even when bent over.
Skirts; fingertip length or longer.
White/light shirts require a nude bra.
 Spaghetti straps or strapless anything need a cover, unless it's over 85* or completely unbearable.
No string bikini bottoms ever again.

These, along with other little rules that I have for myself, are a standard that I hold myself to out of respect for myself, my husband and our relationship. I make the choices that I do with my clothing because I never want anyone to be able to make a snap decision about me, my marriage, or how high I hold my husband's opinion based on my clothing choices.
I try really hard to not judge other women on their clothing, unless it's absolutely atrocious (I am human, after all, and have my flaws). What they wear is their prerogative.

I'm not naive.
Everyone judges others.
Maybe it's not clothing, but books topics that you read, music, your blog posts, or *gasp* politics. I know that it happens, and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop myself from caring about what other people think of me.
However, I do have control over the image I choose to present to others.

To protest short-shorts,  I made my own shorts...
And no, I didn't realize that Old Navy had shorts of an appropriate length.
Post to come.

3 comments:

Grace Frank said...

Loft shorts fit me great! They're cute and not too short.

My fiancee hates when I wear "mom clothes," so I try to wear mostly modest yet still young & stylish options. Loft shorts do it for me!

Kacie said...

I have the same rules for myself. Some out of your reasoning for respect, some because I've never been adventurous and some out of physiological necessity haha.

Trent tells me all the time that I care too much about what others think of me and I know it's true. But like I teach the kids I watch, life is about choices and we can only control ourselves. I try to make very conscious choices about my clothing because if someone is going to judge me, it's going to be my personality and not my sexuality.

Rachel said...

For me, as a married women--what I wear (as fas as modesty), is determined by what my husband wants me to wear, context, and the fact that I want to be respected by the people around me. I might dress a little "sexier" on a date night with the husband because he likes it, but not so much in other situations.