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May 16, 2013

Nikki from If I Could Only Find The Words

Today, I wanted to share with you a post from a blog friend who has been a great support to me, personally. Nikki is a sweet woman who, with her husband, are raising an adorable little girl, Harper, who is now 3. I love seeing the updates on how Harper has grown. I can't believe that when I started reading Nikki's blog Harper wasn't even here yet! 

Don't you just love the name Harper?! I think it is so precious! I want to keep typing it. Who knows, maybe I'll steal it for future reference. ;)

Feel free to check out her blog, If I Could Only Find The Words and give her some love.

I'm so excited for you to hear from her!


...Of a Blogger...
When I started my blog, I thought it would be a great outlet for all the craziness in my life, and I would have lots of followers.  I posted frequently, and put a lot of thought into what I would write.  Turns out, back then I had no idea what a crazy life was really like.  Now I'm lucky if I have time to read blogs, let alone be witty enough to write one.  I love that its a way for me to track Harper as she grows up, and I enjoy reading what others post about, but it has really evolved into just a place for me to record some thoughts.  My blog claims I have 32 followers, but I think really 5 people read my blog.  I'd love to have more people who follow and read my blog because I love reading comments and thoughts that other people have, but I can't blame anyone else.  I don't know how to reach out to gain more followers, and I go through large dry spells without posting.  I try to make an effort, but sometimes I'm at a loss of where to go.

...Of a Teacher...
Recently, I've been having a crisis of faith in myself as a teacher.  I love my job, but I have been worrying about my effectiveness lately.  I've had to remind myself of why I got into teaching in the first place.  I wanted to show kids that math is fun, and encourage them to be successful not only in math, but in life.  A few years ago, a lot of my career focus was on professional development, which is a great thing, but I lost focus on making math fun and engaging students and got caught up in making changes that reflected current research on best practices.  Recently, I've been working on finding the balance.  I need to find ways to use all the work I've put into professional development to help me engage and encourage my students.

...Of a Mother...
When Harper was first born, I was unbelievably overwhelmed with how hard it was to be a mom.  Many people had warned me about bottles, diapers, crying, and lack of sleep.  But no one had given me the heads up about the emotional difficulties you go through as a new mom.  I am usually a strong-willed person who is an action taker.  I was overcome with uncontrollable emotions of doubt and worry.  I struggled the most that first month, but throughout the year I battled with the question of was I really cut out for my new role as a mom.  Harper is three now, and as I reflect on how much she's grown, I can see how I have grown too.  I have confidence in myself.  I believe that I am doing great things with my daughter and encouraging her growth.  I know that being her mom is definitely the biggest part of who I am supposed to be.

...Of a Person...
Growing up I never knew who I was.  We moved so often when my Dad was stationed to new airbases, I never felt like I was grounded enough.  I was asked to do a lot when it came to taking care of my sisters and family, that sometimes I felt more like another adult in the house than one of the kids.  This caused me to frequently act more grown up than I was.  It's taken me a long time to settle in to the person I am today.  I'm very strong willed.  I'm a doer, not a dreamer.  I have strong opinions that I work hard to relate in appropriate ways.  I am a teacher, both as a career and in life.  I'm a wife and a mom who thinks those are the most important roles I play, but at the same time balance time for myself. I'm a person who believes that actions speak louder than words.  I only want good things for all the people around me and anything I can do to encourage them along, I am happy to do.

**I've been wanting to write this post for a while because I've been doing a lot of self reflecting lately.  When Erin reached out for a guest poster, I don't think she had this kind of post in mind, but she is one of the bloggers that inspires me most to reflect.  I thought it was only fitting to use this opportunity to share in a practice that she is so good at.  I hope I don't bore or bum out her readers.  Thanks for letting me share Erin**

Thank YOU, Nikki. Thank you for opening up and being honest in such a brave way.
It's not easy to share your insecurities and fears with a group of people. I hope that you have inspired other as much as you've inspired me to stop and take an inventory of where we are.

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