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July 9, 2012

The Frustrations of Deployment

Often times I find myself frustrated with my situation. 
Anyone would.
It's hard doing things on your own after being part of a team.

Things happen.
Cars break down.
Vet appointments get pricey.
A utility account gets forgotten about.
Decisions have to be made without the other's opinion.

Someone decides to buy something from bodybuilder.com without telling you.
Then you think your account has been hijacked by some muscle head...
It turns out it was just your husband's turn to buy the weight lifting supplements and protein shake powder for the workout group he is in...

C'est la vie.

More than 10 months in and I'm starting to get worried that Jake will come home to a fully functional home and he wont feel necessary.

I'm not saying that I have it all together with him gone...
I'm just saying that all the bills get paid.
And the dog gets walked.
And occasionally I remember to make my self something to eat.

Independent living is nature of the beast when it comes to a full deployment.
I will just have to remind myself that Jake is a fully capable adult.

Another frustration...
I want to freaking shout my countdown from the rooftops and any place else I can...
But nooooooooo.
'No facebook posts, no tweets, no blog posts stating time lines, travel plans or locations of your soldier."
BOOO I say!
We're into double digits people.
I'm talking way less than three months, but not quite two months.
Jake would have it down to the hour if he could.
Just thinking of his welcome home ceremony makes me so giddy I think I'm going to pee my pants.
Like jump out of my skin excited.

It's like the feeling when you are sitting on a roller coaster at the top of the hill about to be let loose.
You're a mixture of scared and excited and you start to laugh nervousally and hope that all your jewelry stays on.
Praying that you don't throw up.


Rachel said...

Oh that's no fun that you can't say anything publicly about the countdown, but at least you have one for yourself! It's so nice to be able to make plans...I love countdowns!

Phil and Darby Hawley said...

I am so excited for you and how close it is getting. You could be a countdown button on your blog; I would love to watch those numbers get smaller and smaller!