This past weekend was Paisley's birthday.
We went to a park.
It was a great party.
Tons of people showed up.
I brought Asher.
I never second guessed my decision to take him.
It was a beautiful day.
Maybe a little windy... But Asher's fear of the wind (yeah, I know.) is something that he would have to get over.
I didn't think of all the little kids who would want to let him.
I didn't think of how he reacts to seeing someone he loves.
He didn't bite anyone except me.
No fear in that respect.
But seeing 90% of the most important people in his life all in one day with the addition of children who wanted to pet him and insane strong winds he went manic.
I had to leave the party, miss seeing my darling nephew Noah have a little park time with paisley and some other kids, to take the little diva dog home.
I was quite peeved.
It didn't help with the already emotional weekend I was having.
(I'll explain later.)
While I was driving him to my parents house so he could wind down with their dog, I thought about how I used my sweet little, high strung, spoiled puppy as a diversion for my inability to emotionally deal with this deployment.
He is more of a distraction for me than anything else.
I use his insanely high energy as a thing to focus on rather than how much I miss Jake, or how awkward I feel spending time with his side of the family with out him.
'yeah I miss Jake, Asher come stop begging for food.'
'Jake would have really wanted to be here for this. Asher do you need to go potty?'
I'm planning on stopping.
I need to let my dog be a dog instead of an emotional crutch.
I think it's going to be hard.
He's the closest thing to a baby that I have.
(And we all know how bad my baby fever is...)
But he isn't a baby.
He's a dog.
A dog that doesn't need to go to family dinners.
A dog that doesn't need to be with me every second of the day when I'm home.
A dog that will still be happy to see me if I have to kennel him on a Saturday morning or Sunday evening.
This is an interesting revelation, loves.
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