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April 18, 2012

My Dog Is Just A Dog.

This past weekend was Paisley's birthday.
We went to a park.

It was a great party.
Tons of people showed up.

I brought Asher.
I never second guessed my decision to take him.
It was a beautiful day.
Maybe a little windy... But Asher's fear of the wind (yeah, I know.) is something that he would have to get over.

I didn't think of all the little kids who would want to let him.
I didn't think of how he reacts to seeing someone he loves.

He didn't bite anyone except me.
No fear in that respect.

But seeing 90% of the most important people in his life all in one day with the addition of children who wanted to pet him and insane strong winds he went manic.

I had to leave the party, miss seeing my darling nephew Noah have a little park time with paisley and some other kids, to take the little diva dog home.



I was quite peeved.
It didn't help with the already emotional weekend I was having.
(I'll explain later.)

While I was driving him to my parents house so he could wind down with their dog, I thought about how I used my sweet little, high strung, spoiled puppy as a diversion for my inability to emotionally deal with this deployment.

He is more of a distraction for me than anything else.
I use his insanely high energy as a thing to focus on rather than how much I miss Jake, or how awkward I feel spending time with his side of the family with out him.

'yeah I miss Jake, Asher come stop begging for food.'
'Jake would have really wanted to be here for this. Asher do you need to go potty?'

It's completeridiculousness.

I'm planning on stopping.
I need to let my dog be a dog instead of an emotional crutch.
I think it's going to be hard.
He's the closest thing to a baby that I have.
(And we all know how bad my baby fever is...)
But he isn't a baby.
He's a dog.

A dog that doesn't need to go to family dinners.
A dog that doesn't need to be with me every second of the day when I'm home.
A dog that will still be happy to see me if I have to kennel him on a Saturday morning or Sunday evening.

This is an interesting revelation, loves.



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