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March 27, 2012

The Difference a Clean Carpet Makes

I promised you a post about my pup troubles.
Asher isn't completely housebroken yet.
(Pause for dramatic gasps and muffled talking)

Yeah, that's right. 
He's not completely house broken.
Asher's defeated face (he's really sleeping)
However, he has made significant progress since we moved into the new apartment.
He now only uses puppy pads at night.
During the day he is in his kennel.
In the evening he is with me and wherever I am, he is either taken out every 2 hours (or whenever he starts to get very mouthy or loud, which means 'take me out!')
At night he sleeps in bed with me.
(You try putting up with his crazy Iggy lungs for an hour plus every other hour. Yikes.)

Throughout the night he will extract himself from the covers, most times without my knowledge, and proceed to pee on the puppy pads that are laid out for him to use.
Sometimes I wake up to one mess.
Other times there are as many as 4.
I know what you're thinking.
Seriousally?! He got up 4 times to pee!?
I don't know what's up with him. 
Sometimes it's like he wakes up, and because he was already up he decided that peeing was a good idea.
At least he knows what a puppy pad is for.
I don't even want to be a sobbing mess get into a spiel about the litter pan not working.
I'm bitter, and we'll leave it at that.

Well on top of this completely unfathomable idea of not being house broken Asher has another issue.
Lets call it an aim issue.
Yeah, you read that right.

Asher has no aim.
Let me give you examples to prove what a complete nincompoop the boy is.
Yes I just said nincompoop.

Picture this:
Asher leans on the lamp pole/hydrant he is peeing on.
Asher, twisting his body and peeing completely sideways.
Asher, stumbling sometimes when trying to lift his leg.
Asher peeing on himself.
Me being completely disgusted by Asher's pee leg.
Me, actually purchasing wipes specifically for cleaning Asher's pee leg.

Now imagine his aiming issues on previousally discussed puppy pads.
In the middle of the night.

Did I mention that Asher has a history of sleep walking?
Ask KG.
Evident'y they both get up in the middle of the night to pee...
And sometimes Asher stands in the middle of my doorway...


I'm got the carpets cleaned this weekend!
Imagine, if you can, my complete an utter adoration for the two people that showed up to steam clean my bedroom, as well as the rest of the house.
But mainly my bedroom.

Jake would be embarrassed if he were home.
Crying over a clean carpet just isn't normal.

Can anyone relate?
Even just a little bit?


Phil and Darby Hawley said...

I think Asher is hilarious lol He is one funny little guy! I can't wait for our carpets to get cleaned; I will probably cry too :-)
I like the new blog design girl!

Stephanie said...

I can most certainly relate with Wilma lately. It's so frustrating! Having clean carpet once again is such a good feeling!