It is an interesting thing, having my husband come home after being gone for almost 4 months.
While he was gone I looked at life and the changes that I've made and decision that I've made and I doubted.
I doubted everything.
All because I was afraid that feelings change.
Sure, some people may not really admit to that fear...But it's there none the less.
You clean the house from top to bottom, hoping that he doesn't remember how messy things can get.
You organize your calendar, hoping that he doesn't remember how scatterbrained you are.
You triple check your finances, hoping that he'll be proud of the decisions that you've made.
The thing is, the second I saw the love of my life standing there, rucksack in hand, smiling... I forget ever worry I ever had.
Over the past 15 days I've wondered why I was so worried.
Jake is still the awesome loving man who left here a few months ago.
He still loves to play video games and tinker around with electronics.
He still loves his meat and potatoes.
He still values family and God above all things.
He still loves his dog.
He still loves me.
War hasn't changed anything about the intrinsic nature of either of us.
I'm just cleaner and he has more medical experience.
And he reads books.
Anyway. The past 15 days have been awesome. We spent the majority of our time with family and playing with babies. It was awesome.
He's left again today.
This time I'm not doubtful of the outcome of this experience.
We're both growing as individuals, which will make us stronger as a pair.
I know that he trusts and believes in me more than I do myself.
I know that he is going to trust God and His plan for this deployment and our lives.
And there is nothing more comforting than that!
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.