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December 6, 2011

Some News

No, I'm not pregnant.
HA! Nice try.

The boys have told us that due to the military drawbacks the unit, 'as of right now', is being cut in half and some people are being sent home.
Political crap.

Guess who isn't on that list.
Now take a wild guess as to who is.

If you guessed that Jake and RG are staying you win.
If you guessed that Twin was coming home before Christmas...
Congrats. You can read my sarcasm via blog! 
Be proud!

It's an interesting test from God, I know it is.

The day after Jake told me was Thanksgiving and from my point of view, needless to say, I didn't handle it well. 
I basically confined myself to hanging out with Asher as much as I could. Which isn't as hard as you'd think considering we were at SIL's house and he was being a 'Velcro dog', per usual. (barking and such)
I tried to not let it effect me very much because it is a happy thing for TOB and Gabe, who were there.
And even though for a split second I contemplated unleashing the beast that is my uncensored mouth on my little-sister-in-law and going home... I didn't.
Instead I did what I do best.
 I cried for a split second, sucked it up, shut my mouth and pretended like nothing was wrong.

In the days since I'm afraid to say that the acidic anger that I felt hasn't gone away.
It's simmered some.
Normally these outbursts are held in until I'm someplace where I can literally attack things without fear of someone judging me...

Well, except the people who see me driving while yelling to myself and flailing about.
For them, I'm sure it's quite a show.

I don't talk to TOB about how I feel or the situation because there isn't any point. 
She can't control the situation. 
Twin didn't do it on purpose. 
In fact, it's Twin that should come home and be with his little boy. 

It's just a little hard to see the lesson God is teaching Jake and I.
And it hurts.
And I don't quite know what to do about it.

I have no idea how I'm going to be once Twin is actually home.
I'm already fighting that desertion impulse that I tend to have when I am too hurt or don't approve of a situation.
Prayers of strength, understanding and peace of heart would be great.

The only good that has come out of this is that there is another possible draw back in March.
Who knows, we'll see what it brings.

1 comment:

Nikki said...

That's some real bummer news. I'm sorry things worked out that way.