Home Home Home

December 30, 2011


Well today is the day of mixed emotions. 
Twin is coming home.
The whole family is going to meet him.

I've been excited for everyone, but secretly dreading today since Thanksgiving.
I may know how I'll act...
But I sure as hell don't know what I'm going to be feeling the moment I see the mirror image of my husband hugging family.
I imagine I'll swallow the bitterness and fight with my emotions from this day until the end of this deployment.
I'm already fighting.

I'm not mad or upset about Twin coming home.
I'm actually really happy for him and for his family. 
Excited even. 
He's needed here in a different way than Jake is.
His little boy needs him.

It's not more or less...
Just different.
And I'm OK with that.

I just don't like that on the outside, it'll look like him. 
Hugging them, kissing her, holding them.
So similar, but so very different.

To be put in such a position is scary. 
It makes me wonder how God thinks I'm so strong.
Time will tell.

The only thing I can look forward to is that Jake will be here in a matter of days, helping ease the sting a little.
I just hate that he has to get back on a plane after all is said and done.

Be on the look out for a mental breakdown.
And I'm only half kidding.

Classy in Leopard

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Suede Boots - Forever 21, $27.80
Satin Blazer - Forever 21, $37.80
Mauve Chiffon top - Forever 21, $22.80
Leopard Scarf - Charlotte Russe, $9.50
Jeans - American Eagle, $44.99
Sunglasses - Forever 21, $5.80
Purse - Target, $24.99

December 29, 2011

Dressing like a Woman, Spending like a Junior.

Admit it. 
It's hard going from the junior's section at a store to the misses. 
It's a struggle I'm facing currently. I feel like my fashion choices put me in a limbo. I want the fun, flirty style found in the junior section... Not to mention the lower prices.
 However, I much prefer the coverage that the misses section carries.
Let's face it.
I don't care how hot your legs are, no self respecting woman wears mini skirts that barely cover their butt cheeks unless they're a stripper.... 
But then that takes away the whole self-respect aspect of this example.

Thank you Forever 21, for creating a line of clothing that gives the great prices you store offers, with the hemlines of a professional, stylish, adult.
With you store, Love 21, I can now shop for myself without the fear of purchasing anything that will give me LiLo or Britany infamy. 
I can feel like a fully clothed adult.
And a stylish one at that.
(now if only you would lower the hem lines of your regular apparel so I'm not afraid to raise a girl in this society...)

Another shout out goes to H&M.
Admittedly, it is a little hard to walk into a store with a new outlook on adult fashion and not be scared right back out again by the variety of styles to choose from. However, I adore seeing what is 'next' for the retail world. 
I may only buy one piece at a time. (one that I can be assured will fit in with my current wardrobe and be worn on a regular basis) But oh how I love that one thing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 
By stocking lines from fashionable young women (Lauren Conrad) in your misses section, I have gained a whole new respect for the other designers that lay scattered among the racks. I now only glimpse over at the junior's section wishing for the class and style that can come from an amazing top by Vera Wang.
Thankfully my bank account doesn't love you as much or else I would be broke.

Anyone have a store shout out they'd like to share? One that has helped them ease from the junior's section, fashionably, with your (and wallet) head held high? 

December 28, 2011

Shuffling Soldiers

Does that bring to mind a picturesque dance number of uniformed hunks with a leading man singing a rowdy drinking song?
Just me?
(Damn musical focused mind.)

This holiday season has been one of complete insanity. 
It started off with thanksgiving-
The night before, Jake tells me that he is moving from his fairly comfortable base at Camp Phoenix to the base where his brother was... Only his brother would be coming home. It was a big bummer for me and hard to work through emotionally in order to truly come to peace with the circumstances of all this stupidity called the Army.

 The end of November, up until about Monday last week brought more complaining and worries. Everyone was beginning to shift from base to base. 
Twin had left and was stuck in an airport stateside, unable to get home for Christmas due to having to go through demob. 
RG was given R&R for Christmas and had started traveling... Having to hear about his lack of communication during travel was a little frustrating. (There is only so much a soldier can do about contact when all that is going on)
Jake all of a sudden dropped off the face of the earth for a whole week as he traveled from one base to another (and another).

I'm happy to say that Twin in going to be home before the New Year.
RG is home and taking up valuable bathroom counter space. 
And Jake made it safely to his new base.

Now the countdown for Jake's R&R (and my birthday!!!!) can begin. 
That's right my loves! Jake is coming how for R&R for my 25th birthday!!!!
I'm beyond excited!

December 14, 2011


A few nights ago I was heading home from my MIL's house and my phone didn't want to connect to call Big Sis. I hit the end button and waited for my phone to turn off. Once it did I held the power button to turn it back on so I could ask some crazy important question that I, by that time, had forgotten.

My phone stayed on the boot up screen for the next hour.

As I pulled up to the house, I grumbled while secretly trying to calculate how long until my phone upgrade.
I got out of the car, messed with my keys while holding the power button on my phone, and walked up to open the screen door.
It didn't open.
It was locked.
I didn't even know that it had a lock.
I jiggled the handle and started at it like my awesome mind powers would persuade it to tumble open like a magical thing.

There was no key for the door...
 There wasn't even a lock for which a key would work to open the dang thing.

I looked at my broken, useless, stupid phone and realized that I had been sucked back in time.
Back to a time where if you were locked out of your freaking house, you had to resort to force... Or you walked to a neighbor's house.
As I explained previously, I don't know my neighbors, and any key that I would have given them would be useless because it was the unlockable screen door that was keeping me out in the cold.

Needless to say, I peeked into my garage and saw that KG's car was there. 
She was home.
Salvation was close.
Now to just get her attention.
I knocked on the door.
I pounded on the door.
I was rough with the stupid screen door, vowing that it was coming off once I got inside.
I had the tools to do it.

I needed a freaking phone!

I had an iPad.

And even though I was outside and the signal was insanely weak, I had Wifi!
I had an iPad and Wifi!

I have Skype.
Skype is like a phone.
KG has Skype.

So I stood there, on my own porch, and Skyped my roommate, who was inside, from my own wifi.

She picked up, Praise the Lord, and let me inside.
She had locked the screen door when she was baking and the fire alarm went off, and having had the door open, she was scared of creepers.

After I was inside and I could feel my fingers again I fought with my phone for a good half hour trying to get the battery case open and resetting my phone.
Of course this was only after I texted my dad from via email and asked him when his Verizon contract was up so I could start a countdown until my new phone.

My birthday. 
I'm getting an upgrade for my birthday, which is in 1 month.

It's on like Donkey Kong!

Now I just have to decide between a Droid (Razrot Thunderbolt) or an iPhone.

December 13, 2011


So my experience with neighbors has been limited. One girl played the OSU night games on the side of her condo... 
I was stupid and didn't go out and socialize because of Jake having just left when the season started... 
I didn't watch a single game this season.
She does have a cute pug that Asher tries to sniff out every time we pass their porch.

My other neighbor has only seen me in the worst shape.
This was due to me parking in his assigned spot that he NEVER uses because I couldn't leave the house to park it on the street due to having food poisoning.
Yeah. I opened the door and immediately regretted it... 
I think he did too.

My childhood consisted of one other family who we shared holidays with in the neighborhood.
To this day, we randomly hear their children, grown up and independent, coming into the house to grab a DVD  or Wii game to borrow.
Or they just barge in on our family dinner night to crash the party and have a beer.
Did I mention that all three of the kids were boys.
Their mother often comes over for 'girl time' with my mom.

I digress...

So anyway, does anyone give neighbor gifts for the holiday season?

December 8, 2011

Living With an OCD Roommate

These past few months have been interesting in the apartment, to say the least.
I feel that I've learned a lot about myself.
And what it's like having a roommate..

KG is OCD.
Like mad OCD.
Like she cleans up behind me a little bit if I don't put things 'in their proper place' the first time.
She And she has a little mind freak when a DVD case is sitting on the TV stand while we're watching said DVD.

IT's definitely interesting.

I understand why she is the way that she is. If I was raised thinking that a house should be cleaner than a hotel... I'd be the same way.

But because my mom cared more about us than the state of her house (not necessarily the best thing either. You need it to be about even...) I'm very much not up to par with KG and her cleanliness.
I'm not awful and disgusting...
I just don't care as much.

It's almost comical.

All annoyances aside, living with an OCD clean freak, her words. Not mine. 
OK, mine too.
It has made me start appreciating the every day cleaning rather than the weekly/bi-weekly overhaul that I'm use to.
It's good.
Plus, I now rinse everything and put it in the dishwasher.

Due to KG not having ever lived with anyone else, I hope that I'm teaching her how to relax a little bit... Because Lord knows men aren't the cleanest creatures, and she has one who she is going to have to live with every day for the rest of her life once this deployment is over...

December 7, 2011

Pinteresting Wednesday Inspiration

Because I need to see and read these as much as some of you might.

December 6, 2011

Some News

No, I'm not pregnant.
HA! Nice try.

The boys have told us that due to the military drawbacks the unit, 'as of right now', is being cut in half and some people are being sent home.
Political crap.

Guess who isn't on that list.
Now take a wild guess as to who is.

If you guessed that Jake and RG are staying you win.
If you guessed that Twin was coming home before Christmas...
Congrats. You can read my sarcasm via blog! 
Be proud!

It's an interesting test from God, I know it is.

The day after Jake told me was Thanksgiving and from my point of view, needless to say, I didn't handle it well. 
I basically confined myself to hanging out with Asher as much as I could. Which isn't as hard as you'd think considering we were at SIL's house and he was being a 'Velcro dog', per usual. (barking and such)
I tried to not let it effect me very much because it is a happy thing for TOB and Gabe, who were there.
And even though for a split second I contemplated unleashing the beast that is my uncensored mouth on my little-sister-in-law and going home... I didn't.
Instead I did what I do best.
 I cried for a split second, sucked it up, shut my mouth and pretended like nothing was wrong.

In the days since I'm afraid to say that the acidic anger that I felt hasn't gone away.
It's simmered some.
Normally these outbursts are held in until I'm someplace where I can literally attack things without fear of someone judging me...

Well, except the people who see me driving while yelling to myself and flailing about.
For them, I'm sure it's quite a show.

I don't talk to TOB about how I feel or the situation because there isn't any point. 
She can't control the situation. 
Twin didn't do it on purpose. 
In fact, it's Twin that should come home and be with his little boy. 

It's just a little hard to see the lesson God is teaching Jake and I.
And it hurts.
And I don't quite know what to do about it.

I have no idea how I'm going to be once Twin is actually home.
I'm already fighting that desertion impulse that I tend to have when I am too hurt or don't approve of a situation.
Prayers of strength, understanding and peace of heart would be great.

The only good that has come out of this is that there is another possible draw back in March.
Who knows, we'll see what it brings.