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August 20, 2011

Reality

Everyone is in denial about this deployment.
It's the nature of the beast.
I have a disconnect kind of relationship with the idea of both boys, as well as a good friend of Jake's (and mine), going on this deployment.

I have the ability to talk about it like it's happening to someone else. Like it's not me. It's a talent right now that I'm thankful for, but that will cause rough nights after he leaves.
I have my moments, though.
Where the weight crushes my chest.
Very few get the chance to see me like that and I'm thankful we don't talk about it after.

You have the privilege of reading my mind in those moments.
Lucky you.

Or maybe, lucky me... For having people so readily there to offer kind and uplifting words during a rather rough time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

ALin said...

Hang in ther lady! I've never been through a deployment myself but I know many who have - I think that denial is only natural. Just think about how short a year is compared to the many more that you two will spend together :)