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August 2, 2011

Blow, Gabriel, blow

Monday, at 1:57pm, TOB gave birth to baby Gabe.

He's a beautiful little boy.

7lbs, 15oz. 19in. Brown hair and lots of it.

Once again I find myself comparing and contrasting my personal experience with these births. It's so hard to sit in the waiting room. I can't stress that enough. But with this birth I thought I'd stay at work until it was way closer to the end.

There is something within me that just calls me to go and be as close to the action as possible. Like, if I'm there, in the building, I can be there in case anyone needs anything.
It was impossible to sit at work.

Doubtless, it's my own mothering instinct kicking in.

This birth was a very similar experience to SIL's, from my perspective. The waiting room was a anxious and awkward environment.

It was really interesting to be able to see SIL in the waiting room for the first time after her own son's birth just a few months ago. You could almost feel her anxiety. She talked about her birth a lot, anyone would have. It's the nature of the maternity ward. We tried to relax and play with our iPads. I think baby Noah gave some people something to focus on other than their nerves.

I was amazed, and a little perplexed, by how many people were in our little party. Going from being around for 2 births where only one side of each family was present, to a birth where both sides were present and not even in full force was kinda intimidating.
Unfortunately, it gave me a glimpse of how the waiting room will be when Jake and I eventually have children.
We literally took up half the room.

Everything seemed to go a lot faster due to most everyone deciding to wait it out and sleep at home after the 1am call that TOB's water broke. I waited until 9:30am to get there. I tried to put in some time at work, but I really just couldn't focus.

Once at the hospital it was just a waiting game. I was distracted a lot by trying to see if Jake would be able to get out of drill to be there for the first meeting. For a while it didn't look good. Then all of a sudden, Jake called at 11 saying that he was given permission to come during his lunch. He didn't get to stay until we met little Gabriel, but it was close. Jake left about 20 minutes before Twin came out to invite us back to the room.

He got to see his brother though. Before she started pushing everyone was able to go back and see them.
She got an epidural around 6cm.

It was a little weird seeing TOB in full makeup. No sweat in sight. Comfy as can be in her labor room. I'm not blaming her for getting an epidural. Sometimes it's just gotta happen.
It's a personal decision.

It's a little harder with this baby.
I know that it's TOB and Twin's time. They are getting all the attention... Im not complaining about that.

For some odd reason I feel like a fish in a fish bowl.
Everyone staring.
Holding their breath just incase Jake and I choose to announce that we were joining the club.

And it does feel like a club...

Plus, personally, I feel as if the excitement will dwindle by the time Jake and I are at that stage of our life together.
I know it won't.
Every child brought into a family is a blessing, and everyone is different.

But I feel left out and left behind.
You would too if every female in your family, as well as your husbands, had a baby/newborn or were pregnant.

Oh well.
I'm waiting because it's best for my family.
It's best for Jake.
I mean come on. We know that if he weren't deploying and it were up to me we'd be talking about getting pregnant.
Not because I feel left out.
But because I was born for it.
Because when I hold my nieces and nephews, I secretly pretend they are my own.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Nikki said...

Congrats on the new little one in your family. And you are so smart for waiting. It will be totally worth it when it's your turn!

Phil and Darby Hawley said...

Gariel looks like a sweet angel! So previous! I feel a little silly but what does TOB stand for? I feel the same way when I look at our family. I feel like the black sheep since we are the only ones without children, but I still get pangs of jealousy when I think about my neices and nephews. It's frustrating sometimes