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May 6, 2011

The Difference

It was so interesting to have two deliveries back to back. One with my sister and one with Jake's. I want to share the differences between the two and see if anyone else knows what I'm talking about.

I shared with you Big Sis's birth story from my perspective.
I'll discuss the true differences at the end.

I woke up Tuesday morning to text SIL good luck. She had to be at the hospital at 6 for her induction. I asked them to text with updates and let me know when they're OK for people to come to the hospital. The updates started happening around 9. I stayed at work and was constantly on the phone with MIL's husband trying to make sure that we got to the hospital with a little time to spare before we met little Noah. She progressed about 1 cm an hour until she was at 7. That's when I decided to leave work and get to the hospital. I left and took the freeway going the opposite direction. I had to turn around and a 10 minute car ride turned into 45 mins.

Go figure. Only I would have that issue.

I got there as Jake texted me that he was leaving at 2. From then on it was a waiting game. We sat in the waiting room for hours. Like, 7 of them.There were moments of updates. MIL was in and out of the delivery room because her emotions were getting the best of her, as you could imagine.

There was tension and mini dramas in regards to MIL's husband and FIL. Just little things that were awkward for 'the kids' to have to sit through... Not bad, just awkward.

Finally, around 7 we were told that due to SIL's back labor being so intense and after getting all the way to 10cm and a trial at pushing it was decided that SIL was too exhausted and in too much pain to continue naturally. She had been administered an epidural and we were allowed to visit her while she waited for it to take full effect.

Going in and visiting her was really nice. Jake and I were the only ones who hadn't gotten the chance to see her when we first got to the hospital so I think we were more excited to see her than anyone else. She looked really good. She was tired but excited about getting enough strength and determination back so she could effectively get her little man out. We talked a little about how her labor was before hand. From the sounds of it, the epidural was late in coming. I can't even imagine. We talked about how awesome her hubs was doing as a coach. He was calm cool and collected, but you could seriously feel his excitement to get the show on the road. We talked about how she thinks she completely freaked out TOB (who is due in August) and how she was awful and snippy during contractions then full of apologies once she was in the clear. I was so glad to see her sense of humor and excitement grow.

After we went back to the waiting room to let the next group of people go visit we had another 2 hours until we heard any news. People were getting worried at that point. Not me. After seeing my big sister push for 3 hours straight, I knew there was a lot that could be happening... Pushing, cleaning, stitching, weighing, etc... None of it bad. I kept trying to remind people that there was a new family being made and that she could already be done, just getting stitched up and having a little family time...

Some people did not like the idea that the new family would keep up waiting... (Nerves on their part I think.)

At 10:59 we got a text saying that Noah was here and that SIL was getting fixed up.

We went in to visit at 11:15ish.

The happiness and relief was palpable. Little Noah got his camera time as we all gave our congratulations and hugs. SIL looked amazing. (evidently, her tear was one that spiraled outward instead of the usual. It had a name but I don't remember what it was.) She was grateful for her epidural because if she hadn't she would have been put under a general for her repair. Because of the epidural she wasn't and she was able to hold her baby right away.

Having two of the same events take place so close together was a real eye opener for me. You can already see the differences between the two experiences.

Now I'm going to tell you what Jake and I discussed once we got home.

The Difference:
1. The experience of the waiting room vs. being in the labor room.

I much prefer being a part of the positive environment in the labor room. There is nothing to focus on or worry about except the new mom. You're 100% focused on her and her needs. You always know exactly what is happening. You don't have to deal with anyone else's problems. You don't have to worry about anyone else's behavior. It was hard being in the waiting room. There was such a disconnection from the miracle of what was happening. The petty drama of dealing with people who are stressing and getting bored is just a little too negative for me considering what is happening in a room down the hall.

2. The feeling when you first see the baby.
Jake and I both agreed completely, 100% about the feeling.

This difference has to do with the difference between a baby coming from your sibling and a baby coming from your spouse's brother ('s wife) or sister.

When it's your sibling you are so emotionally attached. It's your sibling giving your family a little person who shares something with you that very few other people do. There's blood there. It has the ability to make you wish you could stop breathing and capture the moment to file away and re-live time and time again.
With sibling-in-laws it's a sense of relief and excitement. But it is the kind that comes with a new baby. The kind that comes when a family grows. (I found it similar to the excitment of a sibling/parent's wedding.)

After we talked about how different it was for each of us with each baby we marveled that that feeling could be even stronger when it was your own child. It made us excited for when we would be ready.

In a couple of years...
It was a great different experience. Seeing a brand new family for the first time is amazing and something I'll never get tired of.  


Patricia said...

Loved your blog. I am also following you via TGIF blog hop. Please follow me.


Are You A Mom said...

I am now following you from the hop...Please stop by Areyouamom.com and say hi :)
Have a great weekend!