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July 27, 2010

Life Likes to Kick Me in the Pants


I'm a whiner. I can't help it. Well I can but it's so much fun...... Here's one that is a serious one rather than the annoying and sarcastic whining that I so adore.


Jake and Twin have been called to be deployed. The news came in such an official and unquestionably serious way that there is no way to talk our ways out of it. There is no 'hopefully not'... They're going.


I'm not really one to be over emotional about things like this. It's a fact of life. Any big moment is. It's a time when you show the world what your made of... With me it's typically a time to show my 'hard as nails' exterior while my mind completely goes blank until my coping slowly catches up with me. I fake normal until I can get back to normal.


That's what this weekend was like. I wasn't a zombie... I was just choosing to not address the new development other than the 'that's life' statement.


And when I finally caught up with myself it wasn't a devastating moment where my whole world crumbled.... It was a 'this sucks' moment. I'm not concerned with where he'll be. It's in God's hands. I'm sad that he'll miss things. I'm sad that I'll have to make decisions by myself when I'm not by myself. Decisions that should be made by a family.... I don't know what decisions that will be.... But I'm going to have to make choices that Jake might not like when he gets back.... That's a scary idea. I love the compromise process. I give a little, he gives a little and no one can complain about it.....


So as of right now my hubs is deploying May 1st... a month after our niece or nephew will be born. (I can't even process what Twin and TOB feel like... But my feelings about that can be saved for later)


A lot is going to happen while the twins are gone...


I'll update more when I know more.

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