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January 11, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me

It's going to be an interesting birthday, to say the least.

But with the bad there has also come good.

So I blogged that Jake's grandpa passed on yesterday in the very early morning. Very sad and heart breaking for Jake and the whole family to loose such a sweet, dear old man. We think it was congestive heart failure. He was coughing a lot. It was the same with my grama who passed in march.

But on Saturday we were blessed with awesome, while frustrating, news.

Jake's deployment, that was scheduled for April, was cancelled! Straight up. No more worrying about living by myself for a year. It does kinda mess with our mentality. having to shift from he's staying to he's going to he's staying makes me a little raw around the edges...

Pro's:
  • No deployment
  • Not having to live by myself
  • Jake can try to get a job and not feel guilty about knowing that he's leaving sooner and they cant do anything about it.
  • He's staying
  • Jake can focus on pre-med and getting into med school.
  • We can't have a baby yet (we're not financially ready).
  • that I know I won't be bitter about Twin staying and Jake leaving (I was bitter, before).
  • I don't have to learn how to drive stick right away.
  • For my sanity, I don't have to pretend he's not leaving. Because he's really not.
  • I'll get the help that really matters for big decisions.
  • we can talk about the near future without the awkwardness of the year long hole to get through.
Con's:
  • We don't know if or when they'll find new orders. It could be 1 year or not until the end of his contract.
  • He has to work to find a job that will pay well since he isn't going to be able to rely on the separation pay for our rent and other bills.
  • Now that he'll be home and there is a chance that he'll be deployed before his contract is up in 3 years we have to hold off on the baby making until we're sure he wont be deployed.
  • I have no excuse to demand to our landlady that we keep our cat for therapy due to husband being deployed.
the con's are mostly money related... The pro's are mostly sanity related. I think the Pro's win.
I'm very happy.
Which makes me feel guilty
And today's my birthday.
Which makes me feel guilty.
It's going to be a hard week to get through.

4 comments:

Crystal said...

Your allowed to feel happy and mourn. Grandpa Reissig would want you to be happy and celebrating (his life and the blessings in yours), not sad and mourning. With bad comes good and he would want to good to over power the bad. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Brie said...

Happy Birthday!

Brittany said...

Happy Birthday! Hope it's a great one!

Brittany Ann said...

Happy Birthday, sweet girl! Hope this week doesn't get you too down! You deserve to celebrate!