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October 23, 2009

ITBAW in the Tight Fist of Fear


So the most important transition in the whole book of Esther is v. 11-16. Ester goes from self preservation with her whole 'I can't' 'It's too much.' mind frame to brave determination in stating that she would go before King Xerxes and 'if I parish, I parish.'

this is based off of three shifts in her.

1. She had a choice. She had a huge decision. Possibly save her people.... Or let everyone she knew and loved die. She got over herself.

In life we can protect ourselves so much that we miss our calling. You gettin' this? You can be one brave, selfless decision from changing your path. I don't know how many times I've been too afraid of doing something because I'd look stupid or because I thought people would judge me. We all have. The fear of rejection is a big one for me. I'm always too afraid to put myself out there and try... So instead I just go on with life and pretend the opportunity didn't even approach me.

2. She faced the fear.

Beth Moore talked about the Casting Crowns song 'east to West' and I want to share that here along with 1 Cor. 2:9.... You read that while I find the lyrics.

East to West - Casting Crowns
Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

The activity this week was to look beyond the fear to whats next. I have to admit this was the hardest part of the week. Admitting what I'm afraid of more than anything else and looking to what I'd do after... No thanks...

So here's my 'if, then' statement.
If I am not a success, Then I'll do it because I love it.
If I do it wrong, Then I'm wrong...
If I mess it up, Then I mess it up and then I'll move on.
If I lose everyone, Then I'll still have God.
If I can't have children, Then We'll adopt a bus load of them.
If I lose my way, Then God will lead me to the right path.
If I never find a job that makes me happy, then I'll live through it and find one that works.
If I die, Then God will welcome me home.

Our deaths are just a part.. one single part of our destiny... we have to live until we die, and live like we'll never die! Why dread 1000 deaths while we're waiting for just the 1?

'The enemy' is satin... Just in case you didn't know... So Beth Moore said 'The enemy will keep threatening us with those fears if he knows you hold on to them because he knows he'll get a psychological response.' He'll keep pushing and goading and threatening us with those fears until we become someone we don't even recognize. He'll have us become paranoid about it. Completely paranoid... All because he knows he'll get a response. And in that time of fear he thinks we'll have a moment of weakness to put a chip in our security in God. But we have to face our fears. address them. look beyond them.

No one is born brave... And there is a difference between courage and denial. Denial is a cop-out.

The most frequent command in the bible is 'Do not be afraid'.... Do not be afraid for I am the Lord, your God. It's such an awesome statement.

3. She took the courage.

that's right... She TOOK the courage. Courage is not the absence of fear...But the knowledge that there is something is more important than the fear at steak...

don't you realize that you may be one brave decision from changing your path?!
Making any sense? I hope this spoke to you even in it's jumbled mess of thoughts. There is so much I know I miss out on due to my fears. Now it's time to face them and move on.

1 comment:

Crystal said...

Good entry this week!