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June 19, 2015

Looking Ahead

Sometimes, when I try to imagine my future and what is in store for us in the next few years, I’m paralyzed with fear. My body goes cold and I have a mini panic attack. My mind freezes, literally freezes, and my eyes glaze over. It’s petrifying.
The only way for it to ease is sending up a wordless prayer.

You may know the kind I’m talking about.

‘Dear Lord, Please…….’

Then that’s it. That’s as far as you can verbally, or mentally, manage. And afterward you are completely exhausted after thinking or saying those three words.

Afterward you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue about your day… Pretending like you have it all together.

It’s times of change that bring about the most fear. The shift away from the familiar and into the unknown. New towns, new houses, new people, new places. Everything strange and unclaimed. Becoming acquainted with your surroundings and trying to find a semblance of ‘normal’ when really it’s just all new and terrifying.

Looking at my life, the mantra has become, ‘get us all through today.’ Because if I get too caught up in what is to come, I will be the thing that our family has to get past in order to live out best lives. And I don’t want that.

So here I am, dusting myself off and looking at the things that I have to complete right now.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Let me live one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking, as he did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things tight if I surrender to His will so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with him forever and ever in the next.

June 8, 2015

Red Carpet: The 2015 Tony Awards

The Tony Awards.
The often overlooked by everyone else, but theatre lovers.
Ironic that movies and tv started with the stage.

Anyway... A big shout out to Fun House, which won Best Musical, Helen Mirren who won best actress in a Play, Kelli O'Hara who won best actress in a musical.

And now, the red carpet.

The Wonderful

The Interesting

The Men

I do realize that I am biased about some of the wonderful's because I love the actresses so much... But can you blame me?!

Also, many of the interesting's are either pattern or shape... Not necessarily the whole thing.

And only Alan Cummings can get away with suit shorts.

p.s. What in the world was Monica Lewinski doing there?

May 29, 2015

Red Carpet: Cannes Film Festival 2015

The Cannes Film Festival did not disappoint!

Check out these lovlies!

I just don't understand...

My Final thoughts.
Sienna Miller must have two different stylists.....
And she may need to fire one of them.

May 21, 2015

Book Club: A Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

A debut psychological thriller that will forever change the way you look at other people's lives.

Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. “Jess and Jason,” she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel offers what she knows to the police, and becomes inextricably entwined in what happens next, as well as in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?

A compulsively readable, emotionally immersive, Hitchcockian thriller that draws comparisons to Gone GirlThe Silent Wife, or Before I Go to Sleep, this is an electrifying debut embraced by readers across markets and categories.

My review will come once I read it. I'm really excited! Does anyone else have this on their goodreads.com list???

May 18, 2015

My Voice on Pregnancy

Each mom has to overcome something during their pregnancy and after their little one is brought into this world.
Women who work out, run, lift, dance or anything along those lines, have to work their way back up to the stamina that they had pre-baby.

This being my first pregnancy, I never thought to ask the effect pregnancy would have on my voice, and the recovery that comes after. Musicians and singers get pregnant all the time and you never hear about the recovery. The rebuilding of technique and breath support.
The loss of range and stamina. The things that I know now, would have possibly changed the way that I handled my voice and pregnancy.

I gained 45 pounds by the end of my pregnancy with Jaxon. (It was probably closer to 50, but I stopped asking after 40.)
The weight gain itself didn't bother me. It’s just a number. I knew that I was carrying my extra weight fairly well. Most of it was my 9 pound little boy and all the trimmings that go along with that. I watched what I ate, but never paid any attention to how much of it I was eating. It wasn't anything outrageous, but I used the pregnancy as an excuse to snack.
All. The. Time.

I remember that women told me that breathing would get harder as a baby runs out of room in your belly.
No one could tell me the impact it would have on anything that needed those lungs to be at full capacity.
No one told me that singing would become nearly impossible at 8 months pregnant.
No one told me that a c-section ravages the muscles in your core that your diaphragm uses while singing (not that it could have been avoided.)
No one could tell me that it would take nearly 6-9 months for my breath support and stamina to come back.
My vocal coach was supportive of my drive and determination to get my voice back in shape and back to the level of musicianship and quality of sound I had pre-Jaxon. He didn't tell me, until last week, that he was very uncertain we would be able to get to that point.

I’m excited to say that I believe that I am back, if not better, than I was before I was pregnant.
It has taken a lot of hard work to feel as if I have control over my voice again.

Things I had to do:
  •  Be patient. Not only was I working on getting muscles back in line and working order… I was waiting for severed nerve endings to heal. 
  • Actively speak in a higher register, due to being lazy and using a low ‘man voice’ because it didn't require as much support.
  • Ignore when notes just didn't come out, and realize that it wasn't a failing on my part.
  • Start at the bottom of my range and solidify that my technique was intact and working for me before moving to a some placed higher in my range… Which sometimes took weeks.
  • Be diligent and patient.
  • Actively change where I was breathing from. I didn't have the little person to block things anymore and conscious adjustments had to be made to break that muscle memory.
  • Exercise and strengthen my core muscles.

Actually exercising to strengthen my core muscles was what I put off the longest.
I hate exercising.
Like, really.
It wasn't that it was ever really all that hard before, just tedious.
Now it’s hard and tedious.
I was doing it before Jaxon, when I was at the top of my game… So I’m back at it, and it seems to have been the missing link.

I’m thankful that I have been able to regain the level of musicianship and vocal range that I had before. There is nothing like being proud of what is happening in a lesson after a year of disappointment week after week, knowing what you are actually capable of.
Plus, some people never come back, vocally, from such a drastic change. Every little nuance with your body and your health becomes clear in the quality of your voice when you sing.
It’s all connected.

I do plan on having more children, so this has been a learning experience that I am tucking away to use when it comes time to pull it out and reference it again.
Hopefully I will be more prepared for the changes and be able to bounce back quicker next time.

Has anyone else had pregnancy, health issues or lifestyle changes effect something in their life that was completely unexpected?
How did you recover or cope?